Life

Life is a blessing and it is also as fragile as a snowflake.

Watching the documentary about the Tsunami survivors allow me to look into my own life in retrospect. Here I am complaining of how life is being unfair to me. How I should be getting this and that not fully appreciating that my existence and my breath of life is only through the grace of God.

It humbles me and it makes me appreciate what I have. That now even after the passing of my beloved of seven years, life is still wonderful and I still have some pieces of my life to use as a foundation to create something better and to create a more meaningful life.

Yes life is never fair - it is never fair for those who lost everything and everyone in their lives to the great power of the sea. But they had to keep going despite the tragedy. The triumph of the human spirit awes me and makes me appreciate this life the more.

Live life, give more, hug more and love more.

You never know when it's too late to do any of those.

MY OFFICE IS A SOAP OPERA

My office is the set for one soap opera that would catch the interest of soap opera addicts. Set in the newest and posh business districts in Metro Manila, my office is the melting pot for all walks of employees. Because of the higher pay that is given by the company, the good, the bad and oh yes the ugly converge.

The good aim to do good and maintain their distance from all the brouhaha going on, but with a company of 500 employees, they end up getting dragged into the drama. Take for example this Manager - I do not know why she has earned the ire of one particular employee, actually it was so petty I have already have forgotten what it was. Anyway, the employee would call her names or bitch about her within her earshot. She also trashes her reputation at a social networking website and keeps at it until now. I cannot imagine where she is getting this energy to hate a person with this much venom.

The same manager also had a run in with another employee, a beautiful transvestite who is actually not bad at all work wise because he does his job -  comes to work early, does not go absent and gets commendations from customers. This manager wanted the employee to work on his rest day which I personally do not think is fair and I don't even think it is legal, but she asked him anyway giving the reason that the office was "understaffed". Apparently as the story goes, the employee became so enraged that he stormed out of the office complained straight to the  Human Resources Department. And the Manager of course gets mad too because she feels bypassed and disregarded. Damage Control people! This could have been avoided had they had the good sense to talk things over -  between them. Good thing they patched things up with matching hugs. 

Going back to the tranny employee -  this employee gets into everybody's business. Sometimes, he does want to help out, but more often than not, he just wants to be "in on the action". One time, he meddled in a fight (according to him, he interceded to let them know that they should talk about it) between two employees who were fighting over what another (third person) employee said about the other. In the end, he was the one who got into a fight, charging the other employee (with flaring nostrils, I might add and that is in the literal sense) and calling the other employee uncouth. Through out his tirades this employee was quietly doing her job and just replied with one statement: "Look who's talking". Tranny stomped away and I felt like if he had the chance, he would have waited for her at the building entrance and beat her up in a pulp. 

Another colorful character in this office has a "Me-against-the-world"complex and so full of angst that you feel yourself dragged into her negativity. She gets slighted over the most innocent and common remarks with matching name-calling and backbiting and saying stuff about the person with in an earshot. But it does not stop there. Because we are blessed with all this wonderful technology, it enables her to go on tirades about the people on her social networking account, dragging her minions to do the same. She had run-ins with everybody from an employee, to a supervisor and a Manager. I bet if she is within the circle of the site director, she would manage to find something she could complain about the director.

Another character that personally annoys me is an employee that has chosen the wrong shade of blue for his contact lenses and has an obnoxious personality. A Mr-know-it-all, he also get's into other people's business. But on the other hand, I do not think he realizes that he is that annoying because whatever he does for you is because his intentions are good. There is just something - which I cannot put my finger on - about him that is so annoying. One way to describe it is me being a dog and I am disturbed by his scent but I am unable to tell what it is. He does paint a colorful picture about his experiences, like how he managed his own business and how he was successful at it at an early age. I am just so itching to ask him, "so why are you here then?". He has a big problem with his absences with an unbelievable number of sickness that he had -  from laryngitis to toothaches to kidney problems. But other than that, he is a good guy so I make sure to take his friendship with a grain of salt.

The drama is unending. Fights resulting from petty issues like what happened to one employee who was prohibited by the other to sell a kind of pastry because she was selling it first. It's like Coca-cola telling Pepsi that it can't sell soda at this place because he was there first. Struggles with rules such as bringing food and drinks on the floor has also been a cause of employee upheaval. They stopped allowing us to bring food and drinks because of the sheer disregard for cleanliness. I mean come on! You eat something out of a bag with a spoon, make sure you dispose of your bag and spoon! And the reason some employees do not do this is do to the fact that there are no trash bins around?? I personally find that a lame excuse. That just shows how some people in my office are lazy and just plain litterbugs.

I could go on and on and on and on. But the everyday situations like these are what some of us look forward to. Because the management has fallen short of our expectations, some continue on because of the higher pay than most that they offer, some are still there because of the people and camaraderie, some because the job is really easy and some are like the paparazzi, closely watching people to see who makes the next stupid move. Some had been saying that they were leaving two or three months running but are still there, for whatever reason they may have.

My office is a soap opera, running 24 hours, now in it's second season. I am wondering what the season ender would be. Like many soap opera's it's could be a tear-jerker... or as hilarious as the day to day situations are, it may just end up in one big laugh.

MEGALOTTO

The current pot for the 6/55 Megalotto in the Philippines as of November 22,2010 is Php 584,829,925.20 or converted to US Dollars that is $ 13,306,710.00, In Euros that would be € 9,942,101.4340 and in British Pounds that would be £8,422,622.0365. Everybody is lining up at the lottery stations holding their tickets like the Holy Grail, mumbling a prayer to bless the card and everybody simply wishing to win the Jackpot prize.

It’s interesting to know what people would do when they actually have that amount of money on hand. The most predictable answer of the Filipinos would be –“ tutulungan ko po ang pamilya ko” –“ I’m going to use the money to help my family”. Which will be 90% true because if a person wins that amount of money in the Philippines and the extended family, friends, neighbors and strangers get wind of it, they will approach that person to ask for help - meaning money for medicines, tuition fees etc or ask for what we call “balato” which is money simply given away.

But what do you do if you actually have Half a Billion pesos in your hand? I will admit that my first thought was of Luxury – of all the places I want to go to, the cars I want to buy and the houses I want to build. Summing it all up, I realized that I probably would not use that all up even if I built two houses, bought four cars and travelled. Then I decided I would set up a trust fund for my child and two other children, some of it would go to my parents (actually, my parents-in-law), two brothers and a sister (actually my own brother, a brother and sister-in-law) and trickles of it would then go to the extended family.

However, some of the stories I’ve heard about Filipino lottery winners  are not too inspiring. One which is quoted from a local newspaper stated that an Php 80 Million winner “gave half (of the money he won) to his parents, who went door-to-door giving P500 each to total strangers…He placed P100,000 bets on cockfights. He now lives in a beautiful house, but can’t pay his electric bills, so the power was cut off.” The American lottery winners are no different and have similar sad stories to tell and most of them ended dead.

That actually takes out the excitement of winning that amount of money.

But, for now I am focusing all my energies at winning the 6/55 Jackpot prize, picturing myself actually handing that check over to the bank and having the bankbook read Php 700,000,000.00 (that would be the total pot when the draw comes) under my name. And then that’s when I’d start to think how I would spend all that money. 

But wait, I think I need to buy a ticket and have a set of six winning numbers first!

THE COVE

While the lazy-couch-potato-me was flipping through cable Television, I came across Oprah and saw the trailer for the documentary “The Cove”. The trailer was about Dolphin Hunting in Taiji a small fishing village in Japan. I thought it was one of those movies by overzealous Environment activists, but the trailer did not prepare me for this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9igxRDU5aQ&feature=related

Hundreds of dolphins cordoned off and killed by a spear or by being hit on the head. The seawater on the cove turns bloody red as these dolphins are massacred. I am not an environmentalist but the way these Dolphins are being killed is horrible. In my mind Dolphins are lovable creatures, it’s unfathomable to hunt them like that. The only way I could describe it is like having your own pet dog for dinner.

“The Cove” has raised awareness on the slaughter of Dolphins but it has also sparked controversy and anger from the Japanese and other people too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeJUyzGZhEw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN22mAI9r24&feature=related

According to them the slaughter of Dolphins which to them is just another sort of fish is no different from Westerners slaughtering Cows or Pigs for their meat. This actually stopped me for a moment. This is true – the Whale and Dolphin hunting is a part of Japanese culture and they are hunting the Dolphins in their own waters where the westerners do not have any jurisdiction on.

But why does it break my heart to watch them being killed like that? Well for one, I watched Flipper. I grew up with the National Geographic and Discovery Channel’s documentary on Dolphins. And they all say the same thing: Dolphins are the Earth’s most intelligent mammals. Studies have shown that they have strong social bonds and that they have feelings much like a human being does. The permanent smile that they have is very endearing and their playful manner makes them more adorable. And let us not disregard the fact that from time to time we hear news about a Dolphin saving a human life.

I respect the feelings of the Japanese regarding the matter, more specifically the fishermen of Taiji. But I cannot deny the fact that I am heartbroken to see the slaughter of the Dolphins. I wish and I pray that a solution could be reached to address this though it may not be a problem to some, but it is still disturbing to many.

WEEDING OUT

After one day and an arm sore from clicking my mouse, I realized that Facebook has become a phenomenon. During it’s early stages, it was ignored because we had Friendster , Multiply and Hi5 then. These are all social networking sites which had their own share of advantages and disadvantages. For one you can post your pictures abroad to let them know that YES, you’ve been there, or to post a picture of you and the person you are currently with to discourage anybody who would like to take him away from you, or to show them how great you look in a bikini. To some degree, some people have taken this way out of control – online fights have been started because of a post someone didn’t like, or really lewd pictures have been posted too. Sites such as Multiply has now become a “Marketing” site with almost everything being sold online.

I enjoy catching up with people, looking at where they’ve been, who they’re with or what state they are currently in. But today I spent the whole day removing “friends” from my account because I barely know them, I just don’t want to friends with them anymore or I am just so sick of their daily dose of negativity on their status.

I am a very private person and really picky with whom my friends are. Some of my friends say that it actually defeats the purpose of joining a Social Networking site because you don’t join one just to have a handful of friends, after all it’s a networking site. True but I would rather keep the people on my page who know me, who can be a good influence to me and last but not the least, people who I can have intelligent conversations with.

I admit at times, I would “spy” on a particular person’s profile and find out what they are up to or what the pictures they’ve posted can tell me, after all who does'nt? I know some people may also be doing the same thing to me – (that’s what Privacy options are for). But that is really not a good thing to do isn’t it? Why fuel my negative emotions by going back to a person’s profile who I do not like anyway? Why waste energy browsing their pictures when I could be catching up with a close friend in high school or a relative abroad who just got married?

Sometimes there is a need to weed out your online “friends”. This allows you to find out if you value them enough, to know the friends you can count on and the ones worth keeping. By removing them from your network, it removes the need for you to check them out, it also removes the stimuli to the negative emotions that you might feel every time you visit their profile. And removing that profile with the unending negative status removes the unneeded negative baggage that you might be unconsciously carrying for them.

So now, although my arm is a bit sore - because Facebook does not have a multiple delete option, I feel better because I know that the people left on my page are the ones I truly care about and whom I call my true friends.

THE FAVORITE CHILD

Why do parents favor a child over the other? Some would feel indignant and say, “of course not!” Or some may stay silent but in their minds, they think that they are not one of those parents

I do not know how it feels to favor another child over the other because only have one, but I have felt that my mother and other relatives favored my brother over me. I think this is the most disastrous thing that could happen to a family. Children are affected in such a way that they always seem to fall short of their parents expectations and are always compared to the favored child. This usually ends in low self esteem and sibling rivalry. Sometimes this lasts until the children become adults that it is so petty and silly really.

I think this is not a question of how much one is loved more than the other, because I don’t think any parent would love a child a little less than the other. I think this “favoring” thing is circumstantial, or subjective depending on the situation.

Some parents may be seen favoring a child when he is performing well at school and he is being praised and probably gets more rewards for being one. Or a specific child probably always goes with mommy to the store because he behaves better than the other.

When we were children we felt that way – that our parents favored a child over the other. Now that it’s our turn to be parents we say that we love all of them equally. I am not sure how this issue can be resolved because this has been on going for the longest time with the same complaints and still a lot of children feel that way. And still a lot of parents will not admit that they actually do favor one child over the other.

Thank God I’ve only got one. :)

THE ANSWER TO MY DILEMMA

(G) March 27, 2009
Your hopes and wishes are your own -- do not go changing them around in order to fit in with the desires of those who are in power right now. It's important to be resolute in your goals, because otherwise you will never ever attain them. Peer pressure can be tough to counter, but if something the group wants you to do directly conflicts with something that you need to do, then you've got to refuse to do it. You're just trying to be happy, and your friends should understand and support you.

THERE IS A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK

THERE'S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson




Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost .... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.


Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.


Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit ... but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.


Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.



Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

-------------------

"I walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I walk around it."

Chapter Four is indeed a new chapter in your life. Once your responsibility is seen you can change. You can begin avoiding the holes on that street of life. You are now able to see what is coming, because you know your pattern. This knowledge gives you control and you can intentionally respond to life in a different manner. A different response gives new possibilities.

When someone invites you into a familiar hole, you do not automatically enter. Your friend, who has been awaiting your arrival to leave for a party, sarcastically says, "Well, you are late again!" Your typical response is to defensively say, "Must you always complain?" Now when you see that familiar hole of an argument and a bad evening looming, you make a different choice. You realize that your friend has had the legitimate frustration of waiting and has also been worried about you. You speak to these issues and say, "I am sorry to be late. Traffic was terrible. I couldn’t get to a phone. I know that you were wondering what happened to me." Your choice allows your friend to acknowledge the concern and apprehension rather that just voice the frustration of waiting. The hole of another repetitive fight is avoided, and the evening goes well.

---------------------------

"I walk down another street."

Chapter Five is a new day. Finally, you change streets. You change your inner dialogue and behavior so completely that the old pattern no longer occurs. Once on the new street, you must be careful because, unfortunately, this street will have its own holes. It will have holes that you have never seen before. But you now know the rules about the "holes" in the sidewalk. The first time that you encounter one you should ask, "How am I responsible?" It may be that you are not responsible, but the sooner you ask this question, the sooner you can take charge of your life.

This process is like a spiral that leads us upward towards psychological and spiritual wholeness. The sidewalks of life do not go in a straight line. They may not be flat. They may be like a trail that winds round and round a mountain until it reaches the top. Each time you break out of an old pattern of thinking and living, you begin a new switchback that leads you ever upwards to the fundamental goal of life.

Fall into enough of the holes in the sidewalks of life and you may become whole. Through the lessons of the holes of life, you approach wholeness. Becoming whole means striving to be all that you can be. All potentialities are explored. You know what you do, and why you do it. Choices are made, and you are responsible for these choices. The holes in the sidewalk are actually invitations to grow. Are you open to the invitation?

THE WOLVES

The wolves are not too hostile today. They bare their teeth at me from a distance. I can hear them growling but they do not come closer. The fear I had of them turned into quiet resignation, annoyance and now, it's simply silly and funny.

I may have been stupid trying to domesticate wolves. After all, like they say, they are still wild animals. And wild animals they shall remain - wild animals I will soon have on a leash.

BACK IN THE WOLVES DEN

There I was, amidst the morning mob, trying not to be crushed as everybody geared up to get in the train doors. With no practice for six months, it took four trains before I was able to ride. Through the doors and into the train, back to back and side to side, sweat mingling against sweat and inhaling anothers breath.

This is the life I swore not to return to, yet here I am, lining up to get on to the lifts. Butterflies were slamming in my stomach, sweat was forming at the back of my neck and I was picturing an unwelcoming party with their teeth bared as the door opened ----

The door opened to an unkempt office and a bathroom I will not even attempt to describe. Beyong the mess were two people I knew deserved my respect. The rest couldn't care less. I am invisible as they walked in, my greetings fell on deaf ears. I was sent to a corner desk and I felt alone, pitied myself and almost cried.

Tomorrow will be different, I will walk in with confidence, march on and show them. I will be the victor. I have returned to conquer the wolves.

THE RETURN - part 1

Today is Sunday - practically the last day of my bummin' around. Tomorrow I am officially one of them elbow shoving, sweat stained commuters fighting for a ride at the Metro Rail. I will also be at the mercy of slave driver bosses - that's right, I will be smack in the middle of things again - something I gave up on but obviously cannot get away from.

I should be excited and proud that I have been asked to rejoin the company I left last year but I cannot deny that I've got butterflies in my stomach and it feels like it is full of acid. I may be overacting or maybe I am not giving enough credit to the people who I will be working with again. I honestly do not know.



I pray that tomorrow will be a successful day for me - I don't mind being left alone - but I hope nobody steps on my toes because I will not be a sheep this time!

DILLEMMA

Today was one hectic day.

Woke up at 6 am and rushed out the door at 7:30 am. Why so early? I had a "supposed" job offer at Star Cruises at Pasay City. I figured it would be a long drive, and it was, and what was worse we made a wrong turn and ended up at NAIA 1 when we were supposed to be at NAIA 3. We got there on time anyway with ten minutes to spare for a smoke break (Thanks to my dada's driving skills).

When I got there, I had to wait for a few minutes for the person in charge to attend to me. What I thought would be a 30-minute process for me to make my decision in the next 10 minutes turned out to be a whole day dillemma.

You see, I was unemployed for six looong months. I've gotten depressed and angry, and then complacent and mere lazy. My Boss from my previous employment came to my rescue asking me to work for her again. Despite all the reservations I had - from delayed salaries, to unprofessional co-workers & the instability of the company - I agreed to go back, after all the salary is exceptional and I wanted to work again instead of wasting brain cells from watching stupid television shows. But most of all - I agreed because my boss is my friend, and she asked me if my going back would be my birthday gift to her.

A week after, I received a call from Star Cruises informing me that I got the job I applied for way back December. This is something new and exciting - I will be one of the first batches of employees to work at the Newport City (The new Fort-Bonifacio-like area in Pasay, across NAIA 3) and also, I believe that this company is more stable than my old one. I am pretty sure that this company has perks too - like incentives and other benefits which again my old company doesn't have BUT only half my pay is taxable.

I am to start work at my old company on Monday and the Job offer will be discussed on Monday as well - I'm supposed to make a decision today but my brain is mush, I have a terrible headache and my thoughts are going around in circles...

...also, my bed is seducing me to succumb into the lull of my soffft sofft pillow and my snuggly blanket...

I am losing the struggle, I will give in to my bed. I will pray for a sign and make the decision the moment I wake up.

Zzzzzzzz.....

SCARED

I have become a sheep. My assetiveness is gone, my energy fizzed out and the strong chin that jutted out is now tucked in. I am scared to take chances, scared to mingle with society and secure my niche in it. The strength is now only a facade, the knowing glinkt in my eye now only a dull shadow.

I can only but sigh and wonder what has happened. Like a sheep content in a feild of luscious green, I do not move where the greens look robust and bursting with life. I am rooted in a spot, my legs unwilling to move lest I fall down. I see the opportunities at a distance, my eyes tear up and yet I can't move.

Ahhh... I am a sheep....

Bahhhhhh

LOST

Another let down... one of the many since October last year. I really do not know what I am doing wrong. I know I have the ability and the intelligence to be an asset to a company I work for. But given my experiences, it is as though employers single me out to be someone who will not be able to make it. I am tempted to scream and tear my hair out but there might be a rational explanation for this, or in the "unmundane" world, there may be a reason and a purpose for all of this.

I have a brave face on because I do not want the people around me to get affected by my current mood. Inside, I am ready to recede into my shell. But I do not want to give up - I want to continue climbing my mountain of defeats - how to do this is beyond me. The peak of success is in sight however the trail is missing.

I am lost, lost, lost...

Enter 2009 - new year, new resolutions, new prospects. Hopefully the negativity of the previous year is tucked away in a box, and stored in the farthest corner of our brain to collect dust and cobwebs. It is inevitable that we face this year with a bit of trepidation, afterall, everybody has been forecasting doom and gloom. To someone who is unemployed at the moment, maybe I am not concerned enough. I should be. But then, I have a home I do not have to pay for, I have daily sustenance and aside from the boredom I experience at the moment, I can say I am worry free.

The only weight on my mind as of the moment is the impending graduation of my brother from college (whoopee! finally, after 9 years!) and my daughter's graduation from Elementary school. As always, graduation means fulfillment for those who achieved this milestone and pride for those who watch them. My concern is that I am unable to give these two people a meaningful graduation gift. It would have meant cash for shopping - which I don't have or a promise of a trip to Disneyland when I was still financially capable - which, still, I don't have. Alas, they would have to settle on somethng less than that. Though I do hope a miracle would happen!

Another thing would be the thought of my daughter entering the world of High school and boys, peer pressure and temptation. I remember my days as a teen-ager and it is not a good memory. There were some highlights, like winning the Quiz Bee or the Junior High Pageant. Other than that, most of it is locked in that box collecting dust and cobwebs. Like all parents, I pray that she go through this period with wisdom and courage.

At thirty, it is almost impossible for me to accept that I will be having a teen-age daghter. This is certainly a daunting task for parents and other people sorrounding this teen ager. I am not that concerned though, because my daughter is one of a kind - sweet, mature, and most of all she knows respect. Although my marriage to her father did not work out (and memories of that is also tucked away!) we certainly did a good job explaining to her what happened and we have acted like adults around her. How she wishes to proceed despite this fact is up to her, but it is not really a concern.

Hayyy... New year, new beginnings, but most importantly, new hopes! Let mine begin!

new me

i am letting go of pain...

pain of the past and pain of the present. it is a trash bag i have been carrying and adding more as i go. i'm letting pain go and leaving it in the dumpster and walking away from it...

i am letting go of jealousy...

i am secretly jealous over everything. of glitter and gold, of intelligence and wit, of beauty and grace. my time will come...

i am letting go of anger....

i am angry because things don't go my way, angry at not having, angry at wanting. i am letting go of the anger and letting peace in...

i am letting go of sadness...

i am sad because i have been let down, sad that i am not who i want to be, sad that i cannot have what i want. i am letting go of sadness and letting happiness in...

i am letting go of grudge....

i hold a grudge against all who have done me wrong, those who betrayed me, those who pulled me down for their ascent... i am letting go of grudge and letting forgiveness in...

i am letting go of the old me and letting the new me take over....

i am letting go...

i am free...

Crossroads

I am at the crossroads again. I do not know which path to take. A few months ago, there were none and now it criss-crosses in front of me and leaves me confused just the same. Dear God, give me directions on which one to take this time. My thoughts are jumbled and each thought going over the next. You know best - please hold my hand and lead me again...

thank you...

thank you for showing me that there are nice people left about. thank you for wonderful parents. thank you for wonderful "better-halfs". thank you for the ever loyal car that patiently brings me to places i need to go. thank you for another wonderful prospect of opportunity to day. thank you for removing the bitterness in my heart as each day passes. thank you for letting me see the good in other people when i would normally hate them. thank you for teaching me humility. thank you for my new lease on life. :-)

NEW DAY

I got an inspiration from my ex-officemate's blog. Well, he doesn't know (until tonight) that I have been peeking into his blog after I found it accidentally. I found his blog interesting and I have learned a little more about him with the tidbits of clues that he has written:

"Anyway.. i think i have adjusted well with my new company as i’m looking forward to be in office everyday. No more excuses to burn just to let my self absent from my previous. Wahahaha. My finances are quite OK already. Life has been fair. Love hasn’t. Clients have been cooperative. Sleep is normal. Blood pressure is Normal. Henyetah is ok. I am ok. You are ok... Today is December 1, 2008. I’ll mark this day as a new day for me."

I have been moping and sulking for the past two months because things were not going my way. I have blamed everybody I could. If inanimate objects are "blamable" I would have blamed it too. While I was wasting away, this guy has actually climbed his mountain, reached his star and finally he has found the joy that has been eluding him for so long.

December 1 has been his turning point, I would mark mine as December 3. Today, things have started looking up for me. I hope it will stay that way until I climb my own mountain, reach my own star and find the joy that has been eluding me for so long. ;-)

thank you...

Thank you for the new day. Thank for for the new opportunity that presented itself today. Thank you for the delicious dinner. Thank you for making friends. Thank you for the cheese-topped-ensaymada. Thank you for the beautiful multicoloured lights that brightened my night. Thank you for my wonderful husband. Thank you for giving Richard O. the "new him" he deserves.