new me

i am letting go of pain...

pain of the past and pain of the present. it is a trash bag i have been carrying and adding more as i go. i'm letting pain go and leaving it in the dumpster and walking away from it...

i am letting go of jealousy...

i am secretly jealous over everything. of glitter and gold, of intelligence and wit, of beauty and grace. my time will come...

i am letting go of anger....

i am angry because things don't go my way, angry at not having, angry at wanting. i am letting go of the anger and letting peace in...

i am letting go of sadness...

i am sad because i have been let down, sad that i am not who i want to be, sad that i cannot have what i want. i am letting go of sadness and letting happiness in...

i am letting go of grudge....

i hold a grudge against all who have done me wrong, those who betrayed me, those who pulled me down for their ascent... i am letting go of grudge and letting forgiveness in...

i am letting go of the old me and letting the new me take over....

i am letting go...

i am free...

Crossroads

I am at the crossroads again. I do not know which path to take. A few months ago, there were none and now it criss-crosses in front of me and leaves me confused just the same. Dear God, give me directions on which one to take this time. My thoughts are jumbled and each thought going over the next. You know best - please hold my hand and lead me again...

thank you...

thank you for showing me that there are nice people left about. thank you for wonderful parents. thank you for wonderful "better-halfs". thank you for the ever loyal car that patiently brings me to places i need to go. thank you for another wonderful prospect of opportunity to day. thank you for removing the bitterness in my heart as each day passes. thank you for letting me see the good in other people when i would normally hate them. thank you for teaching me humility. thank you for my new lease on life. :-)

NEW DAY

I got an inspiration from my ex-officemate's blog. Well, he doesn't know (until tonight) that I have been peeking into his blog after I found it accidentally. I found his blog interesting and I have learned a little more about him with the tidbits of clues that he has written:

"Anyway.. i think i have adjusted well with my new company as i’m looking forward to be in office everyday. No more excuses to burn just to let my self absent from my previous. Wahahaha. My finances are quite OK already. Life has been fair. Love hasn’t. Clients have been cooperative. Sleep is normal. Blood pressure is Normal. Henyetah is ok. I am ok. You are ok... Today is December 1, 2008. I’ll mark this day as a new day for me."

I have been moping and sulking for the past two months because things were not going my way. I have blamed everybody I could. If inanimate objects are "blamable" I would have blamed it too. While I was wasting away, this guy has actually climbed his mountain, reached his star and finally he has found the joy that has been eluding him for so long.

December 1 has been his turning point, I would mark mine as December 3. Today, things have started looking up for me. I hope it will stay that way until I climb my own mountain, reach my own star and find the joy that has been eluding me for so long. ;-)

thank you...

Thank you for the new day. Thank for for the new opportunity that presented itself today. Thank you for the delicious dinner. Thank you for making friends. Thank you for the cheese-topped-ensaymada. Thank you for the beautiful multicoloured lights that brightened my night. Thank you for my wonderful husband. Thank you for giving Richard O. the "new him" he deserves.

thank you...

i have laughed and yet my heart is devoid of joy...

i have held gold in my hands but it didn't shine...


i have been honest and yet i feel cheated...


i have made an effort to be nice but people are mean...


i have been running from the ghosts of my past but they always seem to find me...

i have been chasing the silver lining of my future but it is elusive...


i have cried and felt desolate and yet i found the courage to move on...


i have fallen and stumbled, and yet i moved ahead even if i had to crawl...


i picked my self up and started walking again...



and though i am in a quagmire, i see firm land on the other side...


thank you God, for holding my hand all the way...

COMPATIBLE

For: My true

Aquarius With Sagittarius:There will never be dull moments with these two and together they could experience their most memorable moments of life with their friends and family at their side. Social groups, entertainment and sporting events will keep the relationship stimulating. Both need independence and share similar creative abilities. These two can really have fun! But, the Sagittarian finds the Aquarian too detached, so that stops this from being the perfect match.

aquarius and sagittarius - compatibility rank = 9 (10 is best)

These two share a great zest for living and a forward-looking viewpoint. Neither will try to tie down the other. Both seek to explore possibilities to the fullest, and they share idealism about love and life. They'll like each other too. The combination usually has a great chance for success. Both temperaments are very much alike. This is a purely social combination that will revel in a large group of friends and public-spirited associates.